Oh Baby

Over the weekend I got to photograph one of the cutest little babies I have seen during my first newborn session. 

When I found out a friend of mine was due I just had to jump at the opportunity to photographer her little man once he arrived. I'm so honored when she said yes. I know this was such a blessing to help further my dreams and I am so happy she is already so enamored with the few preview photos I've posted. There really isn't anything like holding such a small person in your arms and being able to capture those very first days of their lives. Her darling little J was just 5 days old when I got to take these photos! That’s the power of good communication before he arrived, ha. 

I really hope this opens new doors in my career and that it grows and stretches me to be better.

Thank you T for letting me photograph your sweet little man and snuggle those adorable tinny toes and sweet little fingers.

Additions

So I really wanted to write a post today... like really, I did! But my thoughts have been scattered as has my house. You see.... my sister and her fiancé are moving in with us! I am so happy for them both to be getting their lives sorted out and both working so hard for a better future. Since we have yet to set up our basement for its intended purpose (a craft room and studio for me) we made the tough decision on letting them move in (along with the approval from our landlords of course). There is much adjusting to happen for sure like who gets the shower when, since we only have one, when do lights and TVs go off, fridge space... and the list goes on. I pray this can be a positive change in all of our lives and that we can all find common ground for the better of both families. After all... half of our families are blood-related. Ha. 
I like to think that this means free babysitting, more dates out, help in the garden, and a cooking companion but alas, I am a realist and know that many nights it may be just the way it is now... plus two more laundry loads. But, I think I can learn to live with that and take the good with the bad.
So, I really wanted to write a post today but I have tons to reorganize, sort through, and put away along with my normal mommy and wifely duties. It looks like this bitty post is all you lovelies get today. Hopefully I'll have some stuff to post tomorrow; hopefully. 

Hump-less Camels

Being that its earth day, I'd like to share a little gardening update!
Remember how this year around I decided to plant everything indoors until it was warmer out? Remember how I made cute little paper roll planters for each plant?
Yeah, well... they fail. Like epic didn't-hold-water-worth-crap kind of fail. Like no joke, these planters were the birth child of a hump-less camel and an upside down pitcher plant! But, lesson learned, when it comes to seedling planters don't go cheap, by the premade ones. 

So, the only things that lasted were my potted plants (my herbs and blackberries) and now I am in a rush to build the garden beds (which I was going to wait to build until the seedlings got big enough to transplant) so that I can plant new seed directly into the ground with some starter soil, blood meal, and some home-made compost.

After doing a bit of research I have decided to go with non-pressure treated wood for the beds so that our garden can be as organic as possible. We do plan on painting the outside with a low-voc exterior paint to help reduce the inevitable rot that non-pressure treated wood gets and to make the beds look prettier. It’s not as protective or nice as an exterior stain and sealant would look but the best we can do with an organic raised bed. I'll go more into the beds when we build them though. For now, I'm just trying to figure out how we are going to get any crop at all by May. *sigh*. Well... this is really freaking life and I wouldn't feel right not sharing every part of it with you all so there’s that.

Happy earth day! Get out, enjoy God amazing creating, pick a flower, have a picnic... he made it for you after all <3.

My Little Botanist

I have a little Botanist on my hands. Buttons favorite places by far are the ones that either includes lots of other small children to 'study' (because he never plays with them as much as he studies what they do and tries to touch their faces. ha) or any place with tons of plants. 

I'm not sure where his fascination with small things that growth comes from. I think it is God ordained. Ha.

This kid could (and has) spend hours at the national arboretum or the national botanical gardens. Those are by far his favorite places thus far. In fact, I used to take him to the butterfly house in the national natural living museum until he became more interested in the planets in it then the butterflies! We are just so blessed to live so close to so many wonderful gardens, parks, and plant related places. 

I can't wait to see the person he becomes. He is changing so much but in other ways, like his passion for pants, he just seems to grow more and more the same. :)

Getting Out

One way I have been trying to move past this pain is to fill my days to the max. I'm not sure if this is the healthiest healing method but, to be honest, my head and eyes and soul heart from so many tiers and am a suppressive crier. Meaning I can't (or it’s hard to) cry in public... so, I take Button out every day. To the park, the library, the museum, the grocery store, whatever; just out.
On the plus side, he is learning and staying the joyous social butterfly he's always been. Button loves it, and mommy is learning to too! 

While I was physically healing from my loss my mother came to stay. It was such a blessing and not to be forgotten for a long time.

 Although it was due to such a sad event, her timing was so right in more than one way, she made sure I got out. She helped me stay active and focus on the good, the ever-changing blessings of each day. 

During her stay, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I had asked her earlier in the year if she and my father could make it to the cherry blossom festival and parade they have each year here but they were unable to make it. 

This year the cherry trees bloom early. By about a month early, actually, so my mother got to see them in all their glory and take it all in. The happiness of seeing something so new and beautiful by both my mother and son really made me enjoy our time together even that much more. 

Now the cherry trees are full of green, no softer, snowy blossom; not even a hint. All the petals that once blanketed the park are now gone. I honestly have no idea where they went so fast but that is time. Things change, we grown. Things that were once delegate become dignified, things that were once thought dead now bare life. I too will change and I too will grow from this. Out of the snow, the spring comes and out of my pain, my strength in God grows.

Day By Day

I know that I have been gone for a while. I have so much to catch up on but our little family has been going through some hardships.  We lost our expecting child. I am just taking it one day at a time right now and trying to see the blessing I have each day.

I try to see the world the way my darling Button sees the world; so full of life, adventures, and small joys. Each day is so fresh and new to him and pains are so fleeting. I want to live that way. To find joy in the now and let these pains fly away... but it’s hard. His smile helps remind me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful son and to be thankful for the child I have now.

I know I can't change the past. Accepting the way things are is probably the hardest part (besides the physical pain I went through). People talk about a miscarriage all the time, how it was hard for them to let go and except things and in a way, it made it easier for me to except that. It's still taking a toll and I'm not sure I'll be emotionally stable for a while, but it has helped. But, one thing I was not prepared for was the physical pain. I had labor. LABOR. Extreme cramping, back labor, feeling of vomiting, birthing the placenta.... labor. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to deal with the pain of birth without seeing my little one at the end of that pain.  I physically felt like I should have my child, my heart didn't just yearn for it, my body did; I wasn't prepared for that. I don't know if that is how most miscarriages happen because no one talks about that. No one tells you it’s like giving birth with empty arms. I feel I need to share that so that maybe it will easy someone else pain. Nothing can truly ease the pain but time and faith but I hope, in a way, that it can enlighten another person and help them not feel as alone.
Taking it one day at a time and holding my sweet Button and Darling helps me see the joy in each day and I know that one of these days it won’t be hard to see a pregnant mother on the street or newborn at the park anymore. One day we will be there ourselves again and have that joy but for now, these are the joys I have. These are the blessings the Lord has given me and I will learn to delight in them and sing "God is good... ALL THE TIME".