Monday, May 19, 2014

Independence

First time taking Roland to story time at the library (they divide the story times up by age groups so we were with newborns- 3) and I realized something today. I have noticed it before but it really hit me today. My son is so free spirited. But this time I realized why he is that way (I think). I don't caudal him. I don't hold him down to listen to the story unless he wants (though I did try to entertain him so he would want to stay on my lap longer) I don't pull him back when he want to explore or things like that. I haven't decided if this is good or not but in a way, I'm so happy. He is him; he is free and happy so much. He doesn't cry when he falls; He gets up, bushes off, and keeps going. He socializes instead of clinging to my arms and legs. I love that. So many of the other moms were pinning children down, struggling to force the child to enjoy something they cared nothing about. Maybe it’s just me but if the child doesn't want to sit still why force them too? If the environment is safe why stress about it? Why make the even so burdensome on both of you to the point of neither enjoy it?
I know this might be a controversial thing and I truly am not trying to offend another parents raising style, I just wanted to share something I learned about myself and my son. I am so happy for us. He is happy and so full of joy, persistence, and ambition. He is head strong and so sure of himself and I love that. I love seeing him chase children at the park, how he wants me to hold him but never hold his hand (unless he wants to go down the stairs), how he doesn't understand why other children cry when they fall if they are not hurt (he looks at them funny and runs over to comfort them), how he runs ahead of me and stops and looks back but never clings my side. I love my independent baby. I love watching him learn and grow with mommy's watchful eye never to close or too far away; a distanced shadow if you will. It just seems so much better for us then forcing him to do what I want him to do. He is my baby but he is also oh so much his own person. I cannot want him to grow up and be his own being yet force him to be me at the same time. I guess that is what it means to me. For now, as long as he is kind, well behaved, and safe, I will let him be him and let the other mom’s judge. Because, for me and my little man, I'm doing it right.
Today was our first time going to story time...? And it won’t be our last :). 

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