Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Taking a Beating

I know this is super late and... Well... lacking and I apologize for that. To be honest, I have been so depressed. Not because of anything in particular or because anyone specifically did anything. Just, you now, down in the dumps. While there are a lot of small contributors I think, for the most part, I'm just a little overwhelmed  with juggling being a mommy, wiffy, and still giving you guys, myself, and my man the time we all need. I am so sorry for the neglect this blog has received; I really want to get it back on track and stat posting more often. I have always put forth my most effort into this blog and I'm just feeling like it’s not good enough. Not good enough for you guys, my reader and for me, it’s a struggle to please voiceless faces. I wish more people who read this would please respond in some way, any way! But that's simply not how it works. Apart from that, I find myself working more and more on my photography business and while I'd love to share those moment with you all, I'm struggling with self-doubts and insecurities (to be frank) in most areas as of late. My one strong hold is my parenting and because of that, I seem to be fleeing to that aspect of my life a lot now. It is the one confident part of my recently crazy life right now. Being vocal about this is hard but, in a way, relieving. I suppose it’s sort of like having to go on a stage naked to see the beauty of oneself... though, for me, a much smaller advance consider I'm not even sure if this poo blog of mine gets reader. *sigh* Hopefully opening up like this will give me the push I need to focus more on the little things, to stop using my adorably distracting son and feeling like a failure as an excuse and to focus more on the little things; like this blog. After all, how else am I going to document all these moments (good AND bad) if I don't take the time to write them down. I can't (and won't) promise anything about how often or how much I will blog or even if I will ever start adding photos again to each post (>.< sorry) but I can promise that, for the meantime, this blogs not going anywhere. I'm sticking it out even if it means one post a month or even every other month. I want to remember these moments, to share with others, to have passion in writing again and to forget about the naysayers... because, after all, that is the simplicity of why I began a blog in the first place.

I know this is super late and well, this blog is lacking but I will. Not. Quite.

This is real freaking life! Welcome to the party because it only gets better from here. :)

So, if you are willing to put up with my poor grammar, sometimes bad spelling, sappy, sad, possible long breaks, and crazy moments in order to share with me this beautifully blessed, amazing adventure of life with me I would love that more than anything. If not, I understand and thank you for at least even reading this far. I am an acquired taste, I get that. So where ever you stand, here's where I'm at right now, yeah, this is real stink'n life, sometimes it sucks. It’s not all peaches and cream, people are mean, things get hard, feelings get hurt, babies cry, and things die but the band marches on. We grow, learn, and become stronger and better. I need this. I don't feel that way now (right now I want to give up and lie on my hubby’s chest and watch sad movies all night) but I've gott'a push through this. I am not a quitter and I refuse to give in to the negativity that surrounds me and the sinful fear that holds me back. I am better than this and I want to do better for myself, for my child, for my husband... and, for you. All of you... whoever you are. 


  1. Don't be down! I think the hardest thing about being a new momma is feeling like I don't accomplish anything, like the house needs to be perfect, like I should be doing more with my life, etc... Yes, pursue things that make you feel good(like the blog or photography) but don't get stuck in the supermom illusion. If the only thing you get to that day is your little man, then fine! This article made me feel alot better.

  2. Thanks so much Melissa for the encouragement, kind words, and sweet link. It really is good to hear from other moms and know that it's not just me and actually, normal. What a blessing. ♥