Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Changing for the Better

I know this blog is going through a dry spell so I figured it was about time to fill you all in. here's the load down, Hubby is having to look for a new job, the car broke down, our lease is up and our apartment wants to raise our rent to something we can't afford. So, we have eight days to find Hubby a job, move, fix our car, and still keep our heads on straight. Yeah, it’s a little stressful and a lot of hectic going on around these parts. I'm not looking for a pity party, just wanted to be real with you all and to document this part of my life. Sometimes things get tough, it rains, we fight, my house is often a mess, this is really freaking life. Yeah, it's kind of a downer and I'm sorry about that but this blog is for me too. It's to document all our life moments, crafts, inspiration, and adventures and honestly, it wouldn't be honest or the same if it was all rainbows and sunshine. We are getting through it. I know what the Lord does is for a reason and to grow us in some way and because of that, I am trying to think positively about this whole situation; its rough, and hard, but I'm trying. Hopefully, I can get a post up about packing/ moving as it happens and share with you all the new place (whatever/ where ever that might be). I'm sad to leave this place; we have friends here, a good church, a garden, so much love put into this apartment, it is bitter thinking of leaving. For now, I just dream of blessings to come (a pay raise, a house maybe, a fixed car) and pray God hears them and continues to bless this amazing family I have. Yeah, I know this blog is going through a dry spell and things are rough right now but if I don't share the time that feels like a raging storm, it’s hard to see the blessings when the clouds clear. If you made it, though this bleak post, thank you. I know it's not an easy read and kind of sad but it gets better and together we can watch the sun come out and the days become brighter as we change for the better.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Buttons Six Month Photo Session

Here is Buttons six month photos... I didn't get much because he is really starting to move which equals a LOT of blurry photos. *sigh*

His eyes are so beautiful! I actually didn't edit any of his eye color on any of these photos. I just love how they look almost purple in the right lighting. Even when he's covered in droop, he's still my little stud. <3
it’s hard to believe Buttons already half a year old! Where did the time go!? Where did my baby go?! He really is turning into a little toddler right before my eyes;')

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Taking a Beating

I know this is super late and... Well... lacking and I apologize for that. To be honest, I have been so depressed. Not because of anything in particular or because anyone specifically did anything. Just, you now, down in the dumps. While there are a lot of small contributors I think, for the most part, I'm just a little overwhelmed  with juggling being a mommy, wiffy, and still giving you guys, myself, and my man the time we all need. I am so sorry for the neglect this blog has received; I really want to get it back on track and stat posting more often. I have always put forth my most effort into this blog and I'm just feeling like it’s not good enough. Not good enough for you guys, my reader and for me, it’s a struggle to please voiceless faces. I wish more people who read this would please respond in some way, any way! But that's simply not how it works. Apart from that, I find myself working more and more on my photography business and while I'd love to share those moment with you all, I'm struggling with self-doubts and insecurities (to be frank) in most areas as of late. My one strong hold is my parenting and because of that, I seem to be fleeing to that aspect of my life a lot now. It is the one confident part of my recently crazy life right now. Being vocal about this is hard but, in a way, relieving. I suppose it’s sort of like having to go on a stage naked to see the beauty of oneself... though, for me, a much smaller advance consider I'm not even sure if this poo blog of mine gets reader. *sigh* Hopefully opening up like this will give me the push I need to focus more on the little things, to stop using my adorably distracting son and feeling like a failure as an excuse and to focus more on the little things; like this blog. After all, how else am I going to document all these moments (good AND bad) if I don't take the time to write them down. I can't (and won't) promise anything about how often or how much I will blog or even if I will ever start adding photos again to each post (>.< sorry) but I can promise that, for the meantime, this blogs not going anywhere. I'm sticking it out even if it means one post a month or even every other month. I want to remember these moments, to share with others, to have passion in writing again and to forget about the naysayers... because, after all, that is the simplicity of why I began a blog in the first place.

I know this is super late and well, this blog is lacking but I will. Not. Quite.

This is real freaking life! Welcome to the party because it only gets better from here. :)

So, if you are willing to put up with my poor grammar, sometimes bad spelling, sappy, sad, possible long breaks, and crazy moments in order to share with me this beautifully blessed, amazing adventure of life with me I would love that more than anything. If not, I understand and thank you for at least even reading this far. I am an acquired taste, I get that. So where ever you stand, here's where I'm at right now, yeah, this is real stink'n life, sometimes it sucks. It’s not all peaches and cream, people are mean, things get hard, feelings get hurt, babies cry, and things die but the band marches on. We grow, learn, and become stronger and better. I need this. I don't feel that way now (right now I want to give up and lie on my hubby’s chest and watch sad movies all night) but I've gott'a push through this. I am not a quitter and I refuse to give in to the negativity that surrounds me and the sinful fear that holds me back. I am better than this and I want to do better for myself, for my child, for my husband... and, for you. All of you... whoever you are.